.stephanie.lee.nicole. (stephie_nhbg) wrote,

Things that Stephanie's don't | talk about.

So you know when things happen to you that you don't talk about. That no one talks about, that get stuffed into a special box. Like the time you had a major meltdown and you were almost taken to the hospital. The problems that just sit in your life and steal the oxygen from you, and make everything feel so much more awful. The things that don't get spoken about, that you don't speak about, that everyone else just forgets, except for you, because you can't forget, you can't move on, and you can't talk about it. So you don't. You can't, it's too big, too much. It makes you breathe too fast, and forget that you are better, and that it's all over. You got better. You just sit there, quietly praying that one day, the weight holding you down will go away.

I still can't talk about it, not even four months later. But I can write about it, sort of. So that's what my inspiration has always been. The things that I don't really talk about. Like the honest pain that comes from living in a household that practices the Children are Seen and Not Heard child rearing strategy, and being an outspoken, eloquent person who can't just lie down and be walked over. Some people use their summers to find boys, I use mine to clean the skeletons out of my emotional closets. To each his own I guess.
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